My Story / His Glory
Good Morning. I’m more than a little nervous to share this testimony with you all because there are many ways it can be mis-taken. I could have taken the easy way and talked about how God carried me through this spring’s episode of Lyme and how many people blessed me with prayer, visits, food, and gifts. And all of that would be absolutely to tell of God’s glory. But I’ve chosen to share a different, deeper, part of my story. So, please listen with grace. If you feel I have been misguided, please feel free to talk to me. It is an evolving work God is doing in my life.
I was held captive by our enemy for years in an area of my life. I believed lies that are prevalent in our culture and Satan used them to keep me discouraged, distracted and depressed.
I believed the lie that God was disappointed in me because of my size.
I believed the lie that my loving Father would love me more if I could simply discipline myself enough to lose weight.
I believed the lie that thinner people were more righteous than those of us living in larger bodies.
I believed the lie that I was failing morally by simply existing as I was.
But God, in his great mercy, has begun to shine the light of his love and truth into those dark areas. Romans 12:2 says “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve God’s will.” I began to see that I was allowing the world’s pattern of worshiping the thin ideal to define how I should feel about my body. I had taken my eyes off of God’s purpose for creating our bodies.
I’m not going to take the time to debunk all of the lies I mentioned above, (stay tuned for future blogs) but just know that I now see my body as one of the millions of ways that God uses to reach into our dark world and share his light. My presence here is not to impress people, but to serve God.
When I think of the fact that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, I no longer feel the weight of disapproval but I feel the weight of the beauty of what we carry. We are the place where God rests on Earth. We are agents of reconciliation. We carry the presence of God.
I will share one of my favorite a-ha moments. When I read again the physical description of Jesus, I realized how little our physical appearance matters to God. Isaiah 53:2 says, “He had no special beauty or form to make us notice him; there was nothing in his appearance to make us desire him.” You’d think that if our physical appearance was important to God, His Son would have been gorgeous!
But He wasn’t. And I don’t have to be.
Now before you think that I’ve given up taking care of my physical health, please know that if anything, I’m taking better care of it. Once my motivation changed from looking good and impressing people to being fit to fulfill the callings God has for me, I’ve made changes that are more important to my overall health than the # on the scale. Many of the actions are the same but the motivation is starkly different.
That’s part of my story and I share it for His glory.
If you’d like to hear my VERY nervous public testimony, the link is here. My story starts at 43:32.
